Member-only story
Hey there, Today I want to talk to you about something that I’ve been learning lately:
how to stop being available to unavailable people. You know what I mean, right? Those people who are emotionally unavailable, who don’t want to commit, who don’t show up for you, who don’t value you. Those people who make you feel like you’re not enough, like you have to chase them, like you have to prove yourself to them. Those people who are disconnected from themselves and can’t offer you a deep connection.
I used to be one of those people who would always fall for unavailable people. I would ignore the red flags, the mixed signals, the inconsistency. I would make excuses for them, blame myself, try harder. I would waste my time and energy on people who didn’t fit my future, but only reminded me of my past. People who didn’t want the same things as I did, who didn’t share my vision, my values, my goals.
But then I realized something: dating is not a game. It’s not a competition. It’s not a test. It’s basically interviewing someone to see if they are interesting enough to be hired for the position of taking up your free time. And if they are not, then you have the right to say no thank you and move on. You don’t have to settle for less than what you deserve. You don’t have to compromise your standards. You don’t have to lower your expectations.
And you know what? It worked. I started to attract people who were emotionally available, who shared my vision, and who wanted to…